Five minutes in, muscles relax and thoughts about the day decrease and fall away. It is then when the alien thoughts and observations slowly creep to the surface of a quiet brain, filling it with a different kind of "cranial noise" that the monotony of every day life drowns out. Worry is no more-a mood of introspectiveness falls over me like a thin sheet of rain.
Ten minutes in, I start to notice the cracks on the ceiling, and wonder about how they got there. They make a picture on the ceiling that somewhat resembles a flower-a lily to be exact. (At least that's what they look like with the help of a little imagination). Maybe that's what I want the cracks to look like-something I perceive as beautiful. Cracks in a foundation, or a cup, or on a ceiling are so often negative. If they can make something as beautiful as a lily, then they cannot be all that bad. I try to find positive in other things I perceive as negative.
All the holes in the walls from push pins that held up posters that have been retired to storage stick out as if they were black stars embedded in a pure-white sky. I've been meaning to put putty in them and paint. There's no time.
Taking a step back from a busy life and engaging in "nothing" makes it seem like the easiest things to notice are the easiest things to overlook.
Fifteen minutes have elapsed. Equal parts paranoia and fascination set in. What is that hum that seems to be coming from the closet? Have I noticed that before? Is it the light, or a singing ghost? Is it the clothes I don't wear ever? I make them hang there in the dark, gather dust. I knew it, they are mad at me!
Who's walking outside in the hallway?
I've lost track of time. I haven't been checking, just giving it my best guess. I trust myself.
However, I've undergone so many changes of persona while doing nothing. I've entered and left so many different states of awareness, and they completely altered my perceptions of the world around me, even though it was just my room. I don't think I'd ever want to do nothing in a public place.
